The Lunch Table: The Daily Munchies: "The Goods" is No GOOD!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Daily Munchies: "The Goods" is No GOOD!

Posted by Ace

So, if you've never heard of this movie, it's completly alright. Matter of fact, you should probably keep it that way. I'm not even gonna waste anyone's time with a full on review. I'll keep it plain and simple -- "The Goods" was no good! Don't watch it. Don't waste your time. Don't waste your money.

I was genuinely hoping for a quality comedy; I thought, "Jeremy Piven is a good actor and he does good work." But I couldn't have been more wrong. It's a compilation of 1000 different sex jokes, hoping that at least one them sticks. And it was pretty evident that the writer and director were clearly just trying too hard. If this were baseball, their batting average might be .001. With movie prices the way they are nowadays, The Goods was a rather expensive nap! [end]

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WELCOME to The Lunch Table

Let's take a trip down memory lane. Yea, we said it... just humor us.

So you're back in high school sitting in history class diligently taking notes, but if you're anything like us, you're doodling in the margins. The clock strikes 12 o'clock and... RIIIING!

The lunching hour begins... you look around the cafeteria, lost in the vast array of cliques and crews claiming their own tables. The jocks and cheerleaders immediately mark their territory and gather around three tables; the drama nerds and Goths have their respective corners; and the student council, dressed in their perfect Abercrombie & Fitch polos, cheerfully greet each other with their perfect smiles and share their perfect sacked lunches together ... so where do YOU fit in???

Okay... so maybe you didn't go to that high school, but who cares? Let's fast forward to real life:

Lunch - the highlight of our day, every day. Whether you're working the daily 9-to-5 grind, or still in school, there's nothing like a midday break, when you have time to yourself to eat, relax, take a nap, or enjoy the company of friends and co-workers... and that's basically where our story begins.

The three of us work together. Now, we're not at liberty to say exactly where we work, or what we do (because if we did, we may have to kill you... JUST KIDDING... er... not really), but let's just say that what we do isn't exactly the most exciting line of work (and it's irrelevant to the story... so stop asking!) Like we were saying, we work together and like all friendships, our bond was built subtly and slowly. The first encounters were awkward -- the occasional, "Hey," as we passed each other in the hallways, the uncomfortable silences in the snack room, and then eventually, the customary small talk.

Then one day, one of us got bold. One of us decided to send emails with the simple subject line that read: "LUNCH?"

The first meeting was weird. We were all pensive. What are we gonna talk about? Was it just gonna be an hour of awkward silence? Were we just gonna sit there and stare at each other's lunches, wondering what the hell the other person was eating? (Let's be honest, what does a Russian-Jew, a Mexican-Jewish hybrid, and a Korean have in common?)

The weather - always a reliable conversation starter. "Crazy weather we're having aren't we?"
"Oh yeah." And then silence.

Sports - The default topic of conversation for guys. "So... how 'bout them Lakers?"
Not everyone followed.

"Did you guys see that new Christian Bale movie?..."
And it was like someone opened the floodgates. The rest of the hour was spent chatting about how ridiculous Christian Bale's voice was in that one movie. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Which brings us to today. You've probably figured out by now that our blog has nothing to do with lunch, or food for that matter (And if you didn't -- our blog has nothing to do with lunch or food. Sorry). The reason we're starting this up is simple: we love movies, and consequently, we love to talk about movies. Almost on a daily basis, the only things we spend our lunch hour talking about are movies, but the hour never seems long enough. Granted, we come from different walks of life -- different backgrounds, cultures, tastes, and levels of fanaticism (some of us like to indulge our inner geek more than others), and we sure as hell don't always love the same movies, but that's just part of the fun. And regardless, our friendship is grounded in our shared appreciation for movies. So we're here to bring the spirit of our daily lunches to you, our readers because, like we said, the one hour a day between the three of us just isn't enough! That being said, we'd like to extend to you, the same invitation that was extended to us on that fateful day. So forget about the cliques, the crews, or the exclusive clubs from back in the day, and stop worrying about if you're gonna fit in. It doesn't matter if you're an aspiring filmmaker, an avid fanboy/girl, or just a casual moviegoer, just take a break from the mundane and join us at The Lunch Table.

And on that note, please allow ourselves to introduce... ourselves...

Rusty - "The Crazy Russian"
Of the three of us here at The Lunch Table, I’m the only one not born in the U.S. So, yes, my first exposure to American movies was badly dubbed cartoons, particularly a very Russian Optimus Prime. And I was hooked even then. But love of movies aside, what do I have to contribute that’s so special? Well, simply put, I’m the Analyst—I love to be entertained, but I still crave some substance from my movies. I can dig a good action scene, but what I go for are the details. For me, it’s the characters, the relationships, the emotions that truly make movies work, and that’s exactly what I look for. More so than that, I love digging into a movie, discovering themes, nuances, subtle character traits, and all the like. I was a crazy little Russian watching “Transformeri”. Sure, I’m now older, taller, and lankier …but I’m still that same Crazy Russian, eagerly waiting to dig into a great, new movie.

Luke - "The Mexi-CAN"
I’m the type of guy who is interested in a variety of things. One of my deepest loves, second only to my beautiful future wife Kristin Kreuk, is the wonderful world of cinema. I adore all types of films – as long as they are well-crafted and trigger something meaningful in the audience. While I can enjoy the usual summer blockbusters that involve blowing stuff up, I really look forward to the fall when the true Oscar contenders reach the theaters. Perhaps some people would say I’m into the fine details of cinema, and I guess that is correct. I like reflecting on the camera shots, camera movement, and the deeper meaning of film. I enjoy endless discussions of such masterpieces as Chinatown and 400 Blows to 2001: A Space Odyssey. However, do not get me wrong: I can always watch a raunchy flick like 40-Year-Old-Virgin or the wonderfully sentimental Love, Actually. Of course, I’m not claiming to be the next A.O Scott or God’s gift to cinema. In the end, films are just fiction, but they can capture and inspire the viewer.

Ace - "The Average Asian"
I like to consider myself a simple man who finds enjoyment in the simple things in life—hot girls in bikinis, sports, fast cars, and dudes taking shots to the nuts. So when it comes to movies, my philosophy is this: let’s just keep it simple. I’m not an analyst, or technician by any means, I just like to go to the movies, eat my popcorn, drink my icee and have a good time. Why do I need to pay attention to different camera angles, and subtle nuances? If a movie can get me to laugh out loud, sit on the edge of my seat, or dare I say it... cry, then I think the movie has done its job. Why overcomplicate a perfectly good movie with all that other film jargon? So, think of me as your Everyman, your everyday Average Joe, who just needs to be mildly entertained for, give or take, two hours.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Daily Munchies: "The Goods" is No GOOD!

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